Dear Empire State Building,

Bravo at your attempt and subsequent success in being an effective tourist trap.

You effectively utilized the "short line outside - long line inside" fake out. Did you take notes from Disneyland?

I thought I had it in the bag when I was inside the doors in 5 minutes, but noooo, there were switch backs hidden upstairs. When I thought I was clear of those, you slapped me in the face with a security check point! You don't trust me? That hurt. Now that you know the secrets of my life since you riffled through my purse, may I go up the viewing deck and meet Tom Hanks?

What's that you say? Another line? Of course, how could I be mistaken, I still needed to buy a ticket to take the elevator upstairs. And after the ticket line, there was yet another one to get in the elevator that takes you to the 80th floor. Was I there yet? No. After 80 floors, there was another elevator to go to the 86th floor, which was the viewing deck.

But twist! There was only one elevator working and it would be a 30 minute wait. Well I'm not about to wait 30 minutes to ride an elevator up 6 floors when there is a perfectly good alternative: Stairs. Yeah, that's right, I took the stairs. So take that Mr. Empire, not only did I not freak out and get flustered, but I even got a little workout in!

And then I had you right where I wanted you. It was a clear day in New York City and I could see for miles! Miles, I tell you! I could see the Statue of Liberty to the south and Central Park to the North and I didn't need to buy your cute little map or audio tour that you insisted I would want to have so that I knew what I was looking at.

I even bested your gift shop. I will admit I was tempted by the 3 foot tall Lego set of your building and the Christmas ornaments that it is never too early to shop for. But I resisted. I will not fall into your clever ensnarement.

I WIIIIN!!

Granted you did weasel $22 out of me...

Amanda: 1

Empire State Building: 1/2

Sincerely,

Getting better at this new city thing :)

NYC

I'm Here! I'm Here!

This morning I rode the subway for the first time. There is something very ominous about walking down a dark hole in the ground. But I swiped my handy-dandy metro card and sat down on the bench next to subway stop.

When it came, I got on, all proud of myself. As I am sitting there trying to put on my best "I'm a New York, so don't mess with me" face while trying to hide the "I'M IN NYC!!" face, I hear "Next stop Rockafeller Center." Now while I want to go to there...it was not the same direction as the office...I got on the subway GOING THE WRONG WAY! The city is laughing in my face...but I was laughing too :)

Subway: 1
Amanda: 0

Anyway, I got off and changed trains and went back the correct direction.

Lesson of the day: Learn NY geography...

Didn't see that one coming...

There are two conversations that I had in the last few months that are now blinding irony to my current stage in life.

Conversation #1: I was talking to a friend about how I was desiring more out of life; more excitement, more adventure. Settling into my second year of work made me realize how much I was used to annual changes. School and classes changed every 6 months. As an RA, my staff and residents changed each year. I moved living arrangements every May and August. I may be weary of constant revolving change, but the annual shake up was something that I had become used to and without it, I was feeling a little on the apathetic side of life.

Conversation #2: Another friend asked me, now that summer busy season is over, will work slow down...

Current Stage of Life:

I bought my first car!

I passed my CPA Exam!

I am doing an extended rotation in New York for work, starting in a week!!

I am going to Israel in January!

I feel like this is a stage of life where God is asking me repeatedly, "Do you know me well enough to trust me?" It is easy to say yes when I have just bought a new car, passed my CPA exam, have a great job and wonderfully caring friends. It is not easy to roll that answer off my tongue when I am living in a new city, by myself, with the only frame of reference being crime dramas such as Law and Order, or CSI: NY...So while New York excites me, it also terrifies me.

It excites me because it is new and ready to be discovered. It terrifies me because it is new and unknown. It excites me because it is an opportunity to meet colleagues from different offices and make new friends. It terrifies me because it is a long time away from my friends and my Life Group (bible study group) who know me and understand me.

Israel doesn't make this question any easier either. Typical mission trips are comfortable for me. Going and doing. Bringing some tangible value. That is easy to focus on and plan for. But being put in a situation where my ignorance, misunderstanding, and prejudices are exposed? That is uncomfortable. That is difficult for someone like me who thrives on being right and being the best.

Actually, let me clarify, it is easy to answer this question of trusting. It is hard to live your answer. Which is why I am choosing to enter this stage of life. I am tired of sitting back in fear of "what ifs" and comfort of routine.

I'm not ready. Nowhere close. No one is ready to get their butts kicked in humility and trust. But I would rather have a faith that is thriving than one that is atrophying and dying.