Nerdy and I know it...

You may not know it, but tax accountants are under a lot of pressure. So many numbers to crunch, tax returns to sign, referencing to create, research to do...we are on the verge of cracking and running headfirst down the padded wall path of insanity.

Everyone in my office operates on differing schedule preferences. Some like to begin the torture..I mean work...early in the morning, others delay it until noon. But everyone works late. Are you seeing the flaw in the logic yet?

One of my co-workers and I share very similar work habits. We start work early. And I mean early. I once had someone make a comment that I was running late when I stopped to get breakfast at 730am as opposed to 630am...We harass each other about our work habits, but always end up agreeing that we are like the blind leading the blind.

In order to remain sane in the face of obscene non-overtime rewarding hours, this co-worker and I make jokes...what follows is a normal conversation:

5:45am PST/ 8:45 EST (I (A) am in NY. My co-worker (K) is in CA)

K: Morning
A: Go back to bed!
K: Hahaha...You're one to speak miss
A: I know...I have no pull on that one
K: Blind leading the blind, right? How it's always been
A: Why rock the boat?
K: Exactly. All that can happen is you get wet.
A: Swimming blind is never good. You could get eaten by a whale.
K: And let's face it, after Jonah, the whales decided to not let the puny lil humans get away so easily next time.
A: And after the Pinocchio fiasco they held a 10 day training on how to properly eat humans
K: No more of this amateur stuff. Gotta meet up to the rigorous standards set by the Whales Ingest Low Level Youth
A: '82 was a year of reform after the strike of '81 thus creating the Nautical Emergency Mediation Operation
K: Which of course drew from the post second world war establishment know as the Mediterranean & Ocean Baleen Yodelers (obviously the Swiss were involved). Unfortunately it was some time until the Debating International Court of Krill recognized it, thus limited it's power until NEMO
A: Currently behind closed doors, a new committee is being formed: Freedom After Nasty Tsunamis Alter Sea Inhabitants Association of 2000, thus aiming to give the whales special privileges for aiding their fellow oceanic neighbors.
K: Which is a great organization, especially after such disastrous occurrences by human kind. An investigation by The International Trans Arctic Navigable Iceberg Committee showed that people are, well, stupid.

We're nerdy and we know it ;)

4 Tips for Traveling for the 4th Thursday of Novemeber

Catchy, right?

1. Don’t do it. When faced with the choice between hosting a holiday and traveling for one, I would without a doubt choose to revert to my ancestory ways of the hunter/gatherer. Hunting a turkey and gathering cranberries, even the old fashioned way, is a piece of cake when compared to navigating the frazzled, inexperienced and most likely running late travelers that flood the airports and roadways every holiday eve.

Just like nothing good happens after midnight, nothing good happens on an eve.
Eavesdropping is rude.
Building eves are far too small to stand on.
And if you are out on an eve, you are probably spying on someone or something, so you are going to get arrested or fall and die. Point made.
Holiday eves are nothing but trouble if you are not in the place you are supposed to be in.
This means you are late, in an accident, or not going at all. None of which are happy.

2. Arrive at the airport the day before your flight. Ok, maybe not that early. Everyone I talked to said that the airports would be a mile past the edge of insanity today. They warned me to bring snacks and plan for delays. They said I should allow 2 hours to drive to the airport. So I gave myself a healthy 5 ½ hours prior to my flight to get through traffic and the assorted lines. It took a total of 1 hour to do all of the above. While I now had to figure out how to wait out 4 hours without standing in a line, I at least was not late for my flight.

3. A) If you have hours to maim, I recommend fajitas and a nice Merlot. Wine does a bored traveler some good.

B) if you are one of the suckers who is habitually still in the security line when your flight is boarding, I would suggest you spend a good couple of months prior to your trip doing yoga and finding your place of serenity as well as find a talented track coach to work on your sprinting ability.

4. Be Thankful! Even if you are still at the airport, you are not working…unless you are me, in which case there is a different multiple step program that needs to be addressed ;)

Dear Empire State Building,

Bravo at your attempt and subsequent success in being an effective tourist trap.

You effectively utilized the "short line outside - long line inside" fake out. Did you take notes from Disneyland?

I thought I had it in the bag when I was inside the doors in 5 minutes, but noooo, there were switch backs hidden upstairs. When I thought I was clear of those, you slapped me in the face with a security check point! You don't trust me? That hurt. Now that you know the secrets of my life since you riffled through my purse, may I go up the viewing deck and meet Tom Hanks?

What's that you say? Another line? Of course, how could I be mistaken, I still needed to buy a ticket to take the elevator upstairs. And after the ticket line, there was yet another one to get in the elevator that takes you to the 80th floor. Was I there yet? No. After 80 floors, there was another elevator to go to the 86th floor, which was the viewing deck.

But twist! There was only one elevator working and it would be a 30 minute wait. Well I'm not about to wait 30 minutes to ride an elevator up 6 floors when there is a perfectly good alternative: Stairs. Yeah, that's right, I took the stairs. So take that Mr. Empire, not only did I not freak out and get flustered, but I even got a little workout in!

And then I had you right where I wanted you. It was a clear day in New York City and I could see for miles! Miles, I tell you! I could see the Statue of Liberty to the south and Central Park to the North and I didn't need to buy your cute little map or audio tour that you insisted I would want to have so that I knew what I was looking at.

I even bested your gift shop. I will admit I was tempted by the 3 foot tall Lego set of your building and the Christmas ornaments that it is never too early to shop for. But I resisted. I will not fall into your clever ensnarement.

I WIIIIN!!

Granted you did weasel $22 out of me...

Amanda: 1

Empire State Building: 1/2

Sincerely,

Getting better at this new city thing :)

NYC

I'm Here! I'm Here!

This morning I rode the subway for the first time. There is something very ominous about walking down a dark hole in the ground. But I swiped my handy-dandy metro card and sat down on the bench next to subway stop.

When it came, I got on, all proud of myself. As I am sitting there trying to put on my best "I'm a New York, so don't mess with me" face while trying to hide the "I'M IN NYC!!" face, I hear "Next stop Rockafeller Center." Now while I want to go to there...it was not the same direction as the office...I got on the subway GOING THE WRONG WAY! The city is laughing in my face...but I was laughing too :)

Subway: 1
Amanda: 0

Anyway, I got off and changed trains and went back the correct direction.

Lesson of the day: Learn NY geography...

Didn't see that one coming...

There are two conversations that I had in the last few months that are now blinding irony to my current stage in life.

Conversation #1: I was talking to a friend about how I was desiring more out of life; more excitement, more adventure. Settling into my second year of work made me realize how much I was used to annual changes. School and classes changed every 6 months. As an RA, my staff and residents changed each year. I moved living arrangements every May and August. I may be weary of constant revolving change, but the annual shake up was something that I had become used to and without it, I was feeling a little on the apathetic side of life.

Conversation #2: Another friend asked me, now that summer busy season is over, will work slow down...

Current Stage of Life:

I bought my first car!

I passed my CPA Exam!

I am doing an extended rotation in New York for work, starting in a week!!

I am going to Israel in January!

I feel like this is a stage of life where God is asking me repeatedly, "Do you know me well enough to trust me?" It is easy to say yes when I have just bought a new car, passed my CPA exam, have a great job and wonderfully caring friends. It is not easy to roll that answer off my tongue when I am living in a new city, by myself, with the only frame of reference being crime dramas such as Law and Order, or CSI: NY...So while New York excites me, it also terrifies me.

It excites me because it is new and ready to be discovered. It terrifies me because it is new and unknown. It excites me because it is an opportunity to meet colleagues from different offices and make new friends. It terrifies me because it is a long time away from my friends and my Life Group (bible study group) who know me and understand me.

Israel doesn't make this question any easier either. Typical mission trips are comfortable for me. Going and doing. Bringing some tangible value. That is easy to focus on and plan for. But being put in a situation where my ignorance, misunderstanding, and prejudices are exposed? That is uncomfortable. That is difficult for someone like me who thrives on being right and being the best.

Actually, let me clarify, it is easy to answer this question of trusting. It is hard to live your answer. Which is why I am choosing to enter this stage of life. I am tired of sitting back in fear of "what ifs" and comfort of routine.

I'm not ready. Nowhere close. No one is ready to get their butts kicked in humility and trust. But I would rather have a faith that is thriving than one that is atrophying and dying.

When creatures of habit take detours

Generally, the daily life of Amanda Gayle Wheeler is pretty predictable.

I wake up around 6:30am,

Get to work at 830am

Come home around 7pm

Go to bed around 10pm

Repeat.

However, these past couple of weeks I have been making friendships a greater priority and adventure has naturally sprung from that.

Last Sunday after the Oscars, someone suggested that we go to Beverly Hills and find Banksy artwork.

Banksy is a British graffiti artist who tags places all over the U.S. and Europe. No one knows what he looks like and his art tends to be political, so he makes for an intriguing topic of discussion. Anyway, he had made a documentary, Exit through the Gift Shop, which was up for an Oscar, so he was in LA last week.

One thing led to another and I didn't get home until 2am and as a result slept in until 930am. By the time I rolled into work around 11am, I had 3 text messages, 2 missed calls and someone looking up traffic reports in search of a potental accident as the reason my delay in arrival.

As I mentioned earlier, I go to bed early and my roommates are basically nocturnal, so they stay up super late. They are used to fully locking up the apartment. I have almost gotten locked out several times...

Their insomnia also means that they know when I don't come home until the middle of night...

This weekend I went out with some friends on Saturday night and on the drive home, the conversation was so good, that I ended up talking with my friend until, oh, say 530am...this unusual behavior caused concern among the roommates of whether to try and call me or decide I stayed at someone else's house for the night...Either way, I got a mini interrogation the next morning.

I am usually so predictable, so now that I am changing up my routine, its causing a bit of a ripple.

But the good news is that people notice when I'm missing :)

So that they may know...

I have a pretty awesome memory. I can remember things mentioned in a side comment or an off topic conversation. I can remember names and faces. I can remember random facts, trivia, movie lines and song lyrics. I busted through half of an N'sync song last night and I haven't listened to them in years!...ok, maybe I took a trip down 90's boy band memory lane last June...

But I also have a really terrible memory. In the past two months I have nearly run out of gas 4 or 5 times because I just can't seem to remember to turn right instead of left out of my apartment to go to the gas station as opposed to heading towards the freeway. I have also wandered around the parking garage at work because I can't remember which floor I parked on.

But where my selective memory really become detrimental is in remembering how God has been faithful in my life.

For example, a few weeks ago I took the 3rd part of my CPA license exam. Despite the fact that I have done very well on the first 2 parts, I spend every day working with the material that was going to be on the test (taxes), and I have usually always been a good test taker, my anxiety was through the roof...again.

In almost every situation, I count my past success as worthless. This is not coming from a Pauline-like humility; it is straight up doubt.

Doubt in God's faithfulness.

Doubt in his gifting to me of an ability to understand and retain information.

Doubt in God's plan for me.

I need some serious Joshua 4 action in my life.

In Joshua 4, the nation of Israel has just passed over a dry Jordan River. God commands Joshua to send one man from each tribe to get a stone from the dry river bed. These stones were to serve as a catalyst for remembering what God had done; from bringing the people out of Egypt to his recent Jordan River escapade.

He said that the purpose of the stones were so that the people of the surrounding nations and the next generation of Israel may know what God is capable of and that He is faithful to his people.

So since I apparently lack the capacity to look at a situation and remember God's faithfulness, I need some stones of remembrance to keep his work in my life in the forefront of my mind as opposed to the back recesses.

Diamonds are a girl's best friend...

The strom approaches:

"I don't want to be in a battle. But waiting on the edge of one I can't escape is even worse."

-Pippin, Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King

This is how I feel about the coming busy season...

*P.S. Post 100!!

My First Business Trip...

Last week I had the obligation (not privilege, not opportunity, and certainly not pleasure) of going to Peach Tree City, Georgia to attend my firm's national training.

Little did I know when I made my flight reservation, this would be the first time since 1993 that Georgia would get a big snow storm. Needless to say, the city of Atlanta did not know how to handle said storm...they would fail as boy scouts due to lack of preparation. I later found out that the city only has 12 snow plows, two of which were broken down at the time of this "severe" weather.

After having my first flight canceled, I rebooked a red eye out of Seattle to arrive in Atlanta at 6:30am the morning of the first day of training. The conference center was 20 minutes away from the airport, so I WAS going to make it on time. However, after standing on a snowy curb for 45 minutes I called the hotel shuttle service to discover that transportation was shut down because of the snow.

With the shuttle ETA being unknown, I shuffled back into the airport main terminal and found a nice comfy chair to make myself at home in. The only thing that would force me to surrender my chair to the other stranded travelers who were circling like vultures would be the need to use the restroom or find an outlet to charge in my rapidly decreasing phone battery...

After two hours of pondering how to stay productive in an airport I got a phone call from the hotel. The highway was still closed and no taxi was will to brave the side streets, so they were sending me to a nearby hotel to wait until conditions changed. All I had to do was take the train to Midtown station and the hotel will be right there.

I lug my suitcase onto an already crowded train and ride it to the instructed station. I get out at said station, yet the hotel is nowhere in sight. To add to this ever evolving adventure, it was snowing; just adding to the several inches already covering the streets.

Shuddering at the potential of wondering in the snow in the wrong direction, I pulled out my trusty iphone 4 (insert product placement plug here), looked up the hotel and began walking in the right direction. After half a block I gave up on trying to wheel my suitcase through the snow and just picked the not-so-small thing up and carried it the rest of the way.

Once at the hotel this weary traveler took a shower, a nap, and a detailed assessment of why I am overcommitted to my job...

Around 2pm, I decided I was hungry enough to go forage for food. While getting a burger to go at a local restaurant called "Taco Mac" (I was confused too) the hotel called and said they could now send a shuttle to the airport, I just had to get back there soon. So I grabbed my burger and started hurrying back to the hotel. In my rush I forgot that my shoes lacked any traction whatsoever, so resultantly I slipped on an icy grate and fell. It hurt.

When I finally got to the CORRECT hotel, I was tired, hungry and in need of more PTO (paid time off) to recover; however, I still had 2 and half days of tax training ahead of me.

I gave it my best and here is what I learned from LTS Consultant training:

1. Never fly a red eye unless you only plan to sleep the next day.
2. Never open a camelbak water bottle in an airplane...the cabin pressure causes the water to shoot out of the bottle like a sprinkler gone haywire.
3. Never wear TOMS shoes to walk several blocks in the snow or over icy grates.
4. Never travel with a half charged phone - it got kinda tense near the end to find an outlet.
5. Never, under any circumstance, go to Peach Tree City, Georgia if they think a flake of snow will fall.
6. Oh, and S Corporations can't have foreign investors...